Have you ever noticed that there are parts of yourself that are harder to accept than others? It might be a certain emotion that you frequently but don’t want to feel. It might be the way that you act but wish that you didn’t. Whatever it is, there are parts of ourselves that we all wish were different in some way and that we find hard to accept. This leads you to living with a partial acceptance for yourself and an inability to thrive completely. The opposite of this is to live in an emotionally complete way.
Curious how to do this? Let’s dive in.
If you can’t accept certain parts or aspects of yourself, then what do you do?
Do you pretend that they don’t exist?
Do you push that part of you down, try to hide it, so that it can’t exert itself very often?
Neither of those choices lead you to living as a whole and complete emotional being. Instead, they lead you to frustration every time the action or emotion shows up. You might ask yourself something like this… Why can’t I just get rid of that jealousy or anger?
It all gets to be there!
If you’ve spent much time around me, then you might have heard me say “It all gets to be there.”
What does that mean?
This means that you don’t have to deny that a part of you exists. You can accept it without letting it control your life. If you’ve spent your life trying to hide an emotion, that can be scary to let happen.
We all have parts of ourselves that are harder to accept.
I’m no different!
For example, there are parts of me that could be called lazy, but there are also parts of me that are ambitious. While, I usually don’t mind if someone thinks of me as ambitious, I really don’t want to be known as a lazy person. It’s just not a trait that I advertise because it’s not very accepted socially and professionally. So, I try to hide that part of myself from other people.
Even though I try to hide it, I can be both lazy and ambitious at times. I probably won’t be exhibiting both traits at the same time, but they do both exist inside of me.
Stop denying parts of yourself!
When you spend time denying a part of yourself exists, then you’re not quite a whole being. You’re ignoring a part of who your are.
Take my laziness for example. It doesn’t come out too often. Some would say that I’m always working and thus not lazy. However, there are times when I want to do absolutely nothing. The lazy part comes out and wants to take over. I’ve found that if I accept that part of me and allow myself to be lazy, then that part is satisfied and then I’m ready to get back to whatever is attracting my attention at the time.
The lazy part of me is there to remind me that I need to slow down at times. It can prove to be a valuable part of who I am, but only when I’m willing to accept it as part of my overall whole being.
The same can be said for my ambitious side.
I can ignore that ambition, but in doing so I’m ignoring a part of who I am. Instead of ignoring that part of me, I prefer to accept it & embrace it. That part of me is the part that gets me moving forward in life. When I want to make a change, it’s this part that helps me to implement that change. The ambitious part of me is also a valuable part of who I am.
Don’t let other people choose the parts of you that are acceptable.
Now, there will be people in your life who might not agree with some of the parts of your personality. What they don’t understand is that each part of you is valuable and helpful in certain situations. It all gets to be there.
You start with acceptance and then allow yourself to thrive when all the parts of you are able to work together again. You can live as an emotionally complete person without allowing one emotion to take over or ruin your life.
It feels so good to me to accept the parts of myself that I’ve long denied.
I feel more whole in mind, body and spirit.
When in a session with a client, I’m often reminded that ‘It all gets to be there’ and I get to share that reminder with my clients.
I take these reminders home with me, and absorb them a little deeper each time. These reminders are now more a part of me than they were in the past.
You’ll get there too! Little reminders like this blog post can help you to take this message in a little deeper. Over time and with practice, you can start to accept all parts of yourself without worrying that the more difficult parts will take over your life. You can live emotionally complete and feel the joy that comes from saying and believing that It all gets to be there.
This might be a difficult concept for you. If it is, then it’s time to reach out to someone to help you accept all the parts of yourself. A somatic practice like Yoga Therapy can help. If you’re curious to find out if this could be a good fit for you, then schedule a free chat with me. Together we can begin the journey to making you whole again!
And remember, it’s never too late to live healthier and happier!