There’s a lot of shifting happening in my life right now. That means change is happening. Sometimes it’s faster than I want & sometimes it’s slower than I want. That’s part of what makes it such a messy middle. Thankfully, I know some ways to cope with change and uncertainty.
The messy middle is that place where you’ve started to take action but it hasn’t actually come to completion yet. It’s often a place of uncertainty and unease. There’s usually more action that needs to happen but either you’re not ready or it’s not time to take that action yet. This is also why it’s so messy.
Being in the messy middle is edgy!
In yoga therapy, we would call this messy middle an edge because of the uncertainty & unease that you encounter. An edge is anything in your life that is a place of tolerable discomfort. It might be physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. An edge is a place that you can hang out & explore but it’s most likely not your favorite place to be.
This messy middle that I’m in right now is certainly an edge for me. It’s a place where I can’t quite move forward yet as I wait on other people to do some things. It’s also a place of discomfort and uncertainty because of life changes that are happening. This edgy middle is not a place that I want to stay long term, yet I don’t have complete control over it either. This is precisely why it’s so uncomfortable here!
Sometimes you hang out in this space for awhile before you get to the other side of it. You know a breakthrough is coming & you’ll get to the something better, but you’re just not there yet.
I’m sure you know what I’m talking about!
What helps me cope with change and uncertainty?
A lot of things are helping me to hang out in this edge while certain life events play out. Here are my top five strategies.
1 – Check in with my own body.
I do a lot of yoga therapy work on myself. Each day I check in with my body & ask it for any wisdom that it has to share with me. I get a lot of great support just from listening inward daily.
2- Receive my own sessions.
I received a yoga therapy session from a colleague last week. While it’s quite convenient to be able to listen inward whenever I want, it’s also super supportive to have someone else witness my process & help guide me. My colleague was able to be that extra layer of support that I needed at that time.
3- Stay connected with my friends & family.
I have so many people checking in with me on a random basis. Just talking with someone else is enough to help when I’m feeling frustrated or down. I don’t need constant check-ins. I’m pretty self-sufficient most of the time, but those random check-ins are enough to boost my spirits.
This one is very important but can also be hard to do! When I accept what is happening right now, I’m able to make choices that are right for me. The opposite is non-acceptance which is resistance and denial. Living with non-acceptance is painful and usually leads you down a wrong path.
I’m sitting outside in the sun as I write this. It’s a beautiful day. I hear the birds and feel the slight breeze. While I’m soaking up the sun, I’m also letting this connection to nature ground me. I’m still getting some work done and I can feel an ease in my body that I wouldn’t have sitting inside my house. I’m spending as much time outside right now as I can to encourage this feeling of grounding.
What would be supportive for you?
When you need to cope with change and uncertainty, there is no one size fits all solution. My support system will look different from yours. We are different people after all. What works for me may not work as well for you. That’s okay!
Customizing a practice for you is one of my specialties. Whether I’m helping you to design a physical yoga practice based on your own injuries or limitations or whether I’m guiding your through a yoga therapy practice, my main goals is to customize it to your needs & goals. After all, for something to work, it has to be right for you. If you’re 5 feet 3 inches tall like I am & you try to wear the pants of someone who is 6 feet tall, then it’s not going to work out so well for you. The same thing can be applied to your support system. It has to be customized to your needs & goals or it just won’t support you.
Even if you’re not in a messy middle place right now, take a few moments to consider what is supportive for you. What would you need in order to get through the messy middle with more ease? Knowing yourself & your own needs in this way can only support you better in the future when you need to cope with change and uncertainty.
As always, I’m here & available to support you if you’re in the messy middle too. Whether you’re dealing with the shift that happens from your kids leaving home, a divorce, a job change or some other loss or trauma, you deserve to be supported. Schedule a chat to find out how I can be a part of your support system.