20200201_0736381247659437007637020.jpgChange can be scary, but you know what’s scarier? Allowing fear to stop you from growing, evolving, and progressing” -Mandy Hale

Change happens whether we want it to or not. It happens every day. We change what we do, say and feel based on our circumstances in the moment. We change our routines and we change our minds. Most of these changes are pretty easy to handle. They are minor and really don’t alter our lives very much. It’s the big changes that really create the discomfort in our lives. It’s those changes that I invite you to not fear.

Why do these major changes happen? Well often it’s just a matter of time. It’s time for your kids to move out of your house. It’s time for you to leave your job and either move on to another one or even to retire. It’s time for one era to end and a new one to begin.

I often say that if you do your job as a mother well, then your child will move out of your house & create his/her own household. To me this is one of the biggest changes that you can experience as a mother. It ranks right up there with the time when your child was born. Both of these are life altering changes for all mothers. When it happens, then it’s time for the change to happen.

So, if your job is to teach your kids how to live so that they will one day move out, why does it hurt so much when they do?

Even when you expect the change, it’s still hard to accept. You have such incredible memories of when your child was young. There is a part of you that would like your child to stay young forever.

It’s obviously not going to happen. Your child does get older and will want to create their own space because you were an awesome mom who taught her child all of the life skills that she needed to survive.

Change is going to happen. The key is to figure out how to accept the change and then make choices that are right for your around the change.

What that means when your kids leave is that you can fight them leaving or you can accept it. If you fight it, then you’re going to be creating more unhappiness for yourself and for all involved. You might be damaging your relationship with your child. You might also be creating a situation that in the long term isn’t really what you want.

In contrast, if you can find a way to accept the situation, then you are going to be able to move forward with more ease. Instead of grasping at something that isn’t there anymore, you’ll be opening the door to a new version of your relationship with your child.

You see, your time as a mom isn’t ending when your child moves out. It’s simply changing. You might fear this change because you don’t recognize what will be on the other side of the change, but that’s okay. It’s a new version of your relationship. You’ll get to know this version too! It’s just going to take a little time.

Often you fear the change simply because you aren’t familiar with this new version of life. However, once we accept change, it’s often even better than what we had before.

The change that happens when your child leaves, is a big deal. Instead of being afraid of who you will be without your child, try to embrace this new version of you. It’s your chance to get to know yourself again. It’s also your chance to get to know your child as an adult. Who knows? You might even find out you like this version of them even better than the kid version. The thing is you won’t have the chance to find that out if you’re so afraid of change that you resist your child growing up and moving out.

Don’t be afraid of this change. Find ways to accept it and notice what happens when you do.

If you need some support in dealing with change in your life, schedule a private session with me. Together, we’ll create a plan for you to take the steps that you need so that you can thrive in this current stage of life.


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