My son graduated high school last Friday & moved back home for the summer. I guess that means my Empty Nester status is on hold for a couple of months. That’s ok with me because I get to spend a little time with him before he moves even farther away in August.
I’m in that time of life when the kids leave & move back home fairly frequently. They are in the process of setting up their own lives in a more independent way. As they do this, they return home for weeks or months at a time until they are finally ready to move out on a more permanent basis.
My son has definitely been doing this for the past two years. Each month, his school sent all of the students home for a long weekend. That meant he came home to see us once a month. I would wash his laundry & get whatever needed done in that short weekend time frame.
Now, he’s preparing to move further away and on a bit more permanent basis. He won’t keep coming home each month. This will change our relationship to each other again. I feel that I’m moving more into the mentor role with him. I’m surely taking another step away from being full-time mom when I move him to his college dorm.
My daughter has been in this process for the past 6 years already. Now, she’s preparing to move across the country for graduate school & a start to her “grown-up’ life.
She was home this past weekend to help us celebrate Alex’s graduation. While she was there, we took the opportunity to go through her room in a way that we haven’t done in a very long time. I helped her decide on what to declutter, throw away, donate or take with her to her new home. It was a fascinating process because we took a tour through her life up until this point. She found out that she can not only still fit into her prom dress but that she can squeeze into a t-shirt that she got in first grade. (I still can’t believe she got into that shirt!) We were able to decide what was going with her in the move and declutter all of the things that just aren’t right for her anymore.
This process of decluttering in order to move forward again has become a favorite way of mine to prepare for change. Getting rid of those things that aren’t serving us anymore, frees up space in our lives for those things that are. Many times I’ve gone through this decluttering process when I feel stuck or as I prepare for a change & always I’m rewarded with something new that is even better than what I had.
When I declutter, it’s a way to acknowledge what my truth is in this point in my life. That’s really what my daughter was doing this weekend. She was noticing what her current truth is and that many of the things that were left in her room no longer were a part of her current truth. She cleared out space so that the new things that will be coming into her life soon will have a place in her life.
I’m so glad that I got to step back into my mom roll with her to help her do this major declutter in her room. It felt good to be there to assist her as she made so many decisions about what she wanted and needed in her life now.
In the private sessions and in the small groups that I hold, I often do something similar to what my daughter & I did this weekend. We acknowledge & let go of (declutter) those things that aren’t serving us anymore. Maybe it’s an idea or a relationship. Maybe it’s a job or a habit. Whatever it is, our truth slowly changes over time so that it’s sometimes necessary to declutter things that we don’t need or want anymore.
I can help you figure out what needs to leave your life so that you can make a change and move forward again. Set up a private session with me to receive support for this process of change.