3 Signs That You’re Not Ready To Be An Empty Nester

For some moms, that time after your kids leave the nest is a welcome respite from lots of long days.  It’s a time to rest and take care of yourself again.  However, for the moms that have been so involved and invested in their children’s lives that they forgot to factor themselves into this equation, that sudden empty nest is a bit traumatic.  These moms just don’t know what to do with themselves.  So, here are 3 signs that this might be you.

Sign #1 – You find yourself cooking all of your child’s favorite foods even though you don’t particularly like them.

This is you if you’re still catering to your child’s picky eating habits  but your child isn’t even eating with you anymore.  You now have the chance to cook what you want, but you can’t even remember what foods you like best.  Or, you’ve forgotten how to check in with your taste buds and ask them the question ‘What’s for dinner?’

I get it.  It’s taken me a few years to really be comfortable cooking what I want & to not feel guilty about it.  I don’t cook big meals anymore unless it sounds like a really great idea to me.  If I don’t want to eat dinner until 9 pm, then that’s when my dinner is.

Sign #2 – You find yourself checking in with your child on a daily or maybe even hourly basis because you miss them so much.

This is you if you’re life has been so intertwined with your child’s life that you don’t know where they end & you start.  You’ve been so focused on creating and molding one amazing human being that you forgot that you are your own being and you matter too!

I’ve watched many moms go through this withdrawal that is caused from having less contact from their child, and I’ve had it myself.  I view your child’s silence as a sign of success.  You’ve taught them how to live in our society and now they are doing just that.  I know it’s difficult to give them that freedom and have less frequent contact, but it’s time to focus on you again.

Sign #3 – You don’t know what to do with the spare time that you now have.

This might be you if you’ve spent the last 10-20 years driving your child to various doctor’s appointments, practices, private lessons, games and performances.  Now what?  You’re time was taken up by your child’s activities.  Free time for you was pretty unusual.  Now, your child has moved out of the house and you don’t need to run them around all of the time or even to simply attend their various events.  It’s a little daunting to have free time after so many years.  What do you do with it?

I get this to.  I’ve been there.  I had that extra time and it took me awhile to figure out what I wanted to do with it.  It was a lot of self-exploration and trial and error.  I eventually discovered that this new free time was a gift and not a punishment.

So, if you’re a mom who hasn’t planned ahead for this empty nester time in your life, then it can be quite a shock to your system.  The first step is to recognize the signs that you weren’t prepared for this major life transition.  After that, then get some help to reconnect to yourself again.  It’s only through that reconnection that you’ll be able to discern what you need and want in this time of life.

To start this process schedule a private session with me.  I’ll help you begin the process of discovering what’s next for you in The Next Chapter of your life.